"Happiness is not something ready made, it comes from your own actions" Dalai Lama XVI"

 -  Dali Lami

5 Things That Get In The Way Of a Close Connected Relationship… 

 

There are many reasons why people have communication challenges in their relationships.

 

These five big communication challenges are: 

 

1. Fear

 

2. Beliefs and social conditioning that do not serve us 

 

3. The desire to hold on to being “Right”

 

4. Not listening to understand 

 

5. Running away.

 

Notice that fear is put on the list first. 

 

This is because fear is what we call the “silent killer” of communication and loving relationships. If you were to ask most people if they are fearful in their relationships, they would probably say “No.” If we were to delve deeper into their relationships, we might find that they withhold their true feelings when they are not sure how their partner will react. Whether you recognize it or not– this is fear in action. 

 

There is a belief that most people hold that says “don’t expect a great relationship to keep its spark.”  If there was ever a true disempowering belief, this is it. If you want a great relationship, don’t buy into this belief. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

 

The next problem is the desire that most people have to be “Right.” Whenever you hold on to the need to be “Right,” you are building walls that prevent open communication.  The question is “Do you want to be ‘Right’ or do you want love?” Holding onto the need to be “Right” will always drive a wedge between you and another person. For the benefit of your relationship, If you’re doing this, you should stop it.

 

The fourth big case is not listening to understand. Most people really do listen but they don’t understand. The reason they don’t understand is that many people listen from their own agenda, listen so that they can fix the other person or a thousand other reasons. The fact is that unless you listen to other people with the intention to connect and to understand, there will always be distance and conflict. 

 

The last case is the way we react to conflict in our relationships.  When conflict arises, most of us will do whatever we can to avoid dealing with the issues that are going on. We’ve all heard of the “flight or fight” response when faced with a stressful situation.It’s been our experience that one of the biggest challenges in relationship is created when we choose to run away instead of staying present and agreeing to heal the differences between us. 

Well, these aren’t the only communication challenges that get in the way of a great relationship, but they are five of the biggest.

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